How was the first week of non-judgmental January? Mine was rough. The purpose of week one was to make us aware of our thoughts. Maybe you didn’t realize how often you were judgmental, or maybe if you’re like me, you make rude comments in your mind about people (no? I’m the only one who does that?). Either way, this last week was eye-opening for me. Hopefully it was for you too.
The goal for this week is to continue to identify when we are being judgmental, and to look for the reason behind it. I know often when I think negatively about someone, it’s usually because of an insecurity I have. Depending on the situation, it could be that I’m jealous or maybe I’m less-than-pleased with myself in one way or another. Does that make sense?
Our minds are extremely capable, powerful machines. Whether you realize it or not, you are a pro at rationalizing your views to yourself. We don’t like to feel off-kilter or ill-at-ease with ourselves. Sometimes if we’re feeling bad about some area of our life, when we see someone who is exceling in that area, we throw a little dirt at them to make ourselves feel better.
I have several examples. I might be insecure about my body and my physical appearance. When I see a woman who not only looks great, but is also confident enough to show it off, I might judge her for how she dresses (“Put some clothes on, ya hussy!”). Although I might not be jealous of what she’s wearing (you wouldn’t ever catch me wearing a see-through top or—gasp/gag—tights as pants), I probably am jealous that she feels comfortable enough in her own skin to wear it.
I encourage you to dig a little deeper (thanks, Shaun T.) this week, and find out what’s behind your negative thoughts about others. Good luck, and keep me posted!.