Non-judgmental January

Hi friends!  I hope you’ve successfully made it four days into 2013 without crumbling under the pressure of your resolutions.  I’ve been close to the brink of insanity a couple of times but I’m proud to report that I’m still here, behaving myself and abiding by my resolutions so far.  (See?  I could’ve—and probably would’ve, in 2012—put an exclamation point at the end of that sentence.  Unnecessary.  Oddly enough, I still feel uneasy about it and think it needs a little ‘excitement.’) 

If you’ve already read my resolutions, you know that for the month of January I’m going to be talking a lot about breaking my terrible, judgmental ways.  If you haven’t read my post about my 2013 resolutions, go do it now.  Please?  Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Ok, so before we jump in, I want to talk about why this is so important to me.  Before deciding on my resolutions, I drew up a mental list of my strengths and weaknesses.  Yep, I can draw pretty magical mental pictures.  And it looked a heck of a lot better than the one you see below.  Put that one in my “pros” column.

At my best, I’m…	At my worst, I’m…
Good at drawing mental images	Pessimistic
Witty	Self-centered
Snarky (yes, this is a positive trait where I come from)	Introverted/high need for alone time (even if it just means going to the bathroom with the door shut)
Generous	Cranky
Loving	Indecisive
Supportive (I’m really bad at almost everything.  I seriously don’t do much of anything well, but I can love and support like you wouldn’t believe.  It’s my super power.)	Socially awkward (almost to the point of a handicap at times)
The life of the party	Lazy
Creative	Judgmental

I can live with most of the weaknesses… I’ll be honest; being lazy, socially awkward, and indecisive really isn’t so bad.  The one word glaring at me off of this list was (you guessed it) “judgmental.”

I hate being judged.  I’m guessing you do too.  You know what it’s like, right?  You’re sitting at McDonalds with your toddler, watching that beautiful offspring of yours happily consuming his entire daily saturated fat and sodium intake, when a super-fit baby-wearing yoga mom walks in and gives you the “omg-I-can’t-believe-you’re-feeding-your-kid-that-crap” look (why is the super-fit yoga mom— who probably eats only organic—in McDonalds in the first place?  I don’t know.  First thing that came to my mind).  Doesn’t feel so good, does it?

Or what about that day you’re peacefully strolling through the grocery store when your angelic little girl starts begging for the newest (super) high sugar cereal?  You tell little Sally no and you try to keep shopping when her lower lip begins to tremble and her eyes fill with tears.  You see that look in her eye— you think to yourself, “Oh no, not here.  Please not here.”  Within seconds, she’s gone nuclear and everyone in the store knows it.  You panic.  You need to get out of the cereal aisle, stat.  “Here, Sally, play with Mommy’s ultra-expensive touch screen smart phone for a little bit.  Will that make you happy?”  Sally sniffs, and snatches the phone from your hand.  She glances at the screen, taps it a couple of times, and then begins to scream again.  Strangers are looking at you, shaking their heads.  You’re sure they must be asking themselves what kind of a mother you are and why your kid is such a brat.  Surely it's something you're doing wrong.  Letting a young child play with a smartphone?  Isn’t there some sort of a study out there about kids and screen time?  Does this lady know what she's doing to her child's mental and emotional development?  What a failure.  Someone call Child Protective Services.

(I know what you’re thinking.  No, not all of my insecurities are based on parenting.  Or food.  Just most of them.)

Because I don’t like to be judged, I know I need to knock off my own judgmental nonsense.  I've learned something about myself: the more I judge others, the more I fear judgment.  I’m not sure how or why.  I just know that there was a time in my life when I was a lot less judgmental and a lot more accepting altruistic apathetic.  I felt so free to be who I was and do what I wanted.  Now, I struggle daily with what to wear, how to style my hair, and whether I’m “good enough” for my environment.  Every morning is the same; "What will Roxanne say about these pants?  Are they dressy enough for work?  I think I might skip ironing the Downy Wrinkle Releaser today; wait, nope, better not.  I don’t want to end up looking too unprofessional."  (Side note: I don't actually work with a Roxanne.  She's an imaginary bitch who lives in my head and tells me how sloppy I am.)

Here’s another little gem of knowledge I’ve picked up in the last couple of years: if I surround myself with judgmental people, I become more judgmental.  Probably because I’m an easily influenced person and it doesn’t take much for me to begin seeing the world through the eyes of my peers.  But again, the more judgmental I become, the more paranoid I become.  See how this vicious cycle works?

So, in a (large) nutshell, that’s why this January resolution is so important to me.  I need to change my ways, not only to be a better person, but to be a happier person.  Hopefully you’re planning on tagging along for the next 27 days.  Happy Friday, everybody!  (Exclamation point totally acceptable there.)

Commitment & 2013 Resolutions

In order to be committed all year long, I need something to be committed to.  I’ve decided on twelve resolutions… some might seem silly, but these are things I want to challenge myself to complete this year.  Each month, I’m going to keep you updated on one of my resolutions.  Twelve months to a better me, right?  Due to their nature, some of these will be month-long resolutions and some of them will be year-round.  I’ll keep you posted on how I’m doing.

January: Love more, judge less.  This will be my topic on here for the month of January. We all judge others, as much as we deny it or try not to.  It’s probably my least favorite thing about myself right now.

February: I’m starting the Insanity workout on Sunday, January 6^th.  If I stick to the Insanity calendar, I will finish the program on Saturday, March 9^th.  I figured that by February, I should be well into the program, so I’ll share with you my struggles and victories during this month.  Heck, if I get the ambition time guts, I might even post some pictures.  We’ll see how much I feel like embarrassing myself by next month.

March: Use my crock pot at least once a week.  I hate coming home and scrambling to figure out what’s for supper.  The crock pot requires some extra planning, but the time it saves is WELL WORTH IT.  During the month of March, I’ll share my weekly recipes along with any time-saving dinner tips or tricks I stumble upon.

April: It’s tax month!  What better time than April to talk about getting out of debt?  This is another resolution that will span more than just one month, but I thought it might be a good time to share our progress and our struggles with debt.

May: Complete my first 5k.  In the month of May, I will be completing a 5k with one of my best friends!  I couldn’t possibly be less of a runner, so this is a big one for me.  

June: Make my house a home.  We’ve lived in our house for two years now and it still doesn’t feel like “us.”  I want to do what I can this year to personalize our home and make it feel more like a family house… and less like a college dorm.  Oh yeah, and I’m on a budget too, so maybe it should be “make my house a home… on a budget.”  Remember April’s resolution?  I don’t exactly have a ton of money to go out and buy things.  This one will be an interesting journey, and it will take me more than a month to do it.  I’ll keep you posted.

July: Find three things to be thankful for at the end of the day, every day.  Being thankful isn't just for November, folks.

 

August: Drink more water.  The recommended amount of water for the average adult is 64 oz a day.  At this point, I doubt I drink 12.  I’m terrible about drinking water… I just don’t get thirsty.  For the month of August, I’m going to share with you the ways I trick myself into drinking more.  Along with drinking more water, I’m also going to continue (and hopefully improve) my clean eating /cooking goal that I started in 2012.  I’ll share my favorite recipes that are child and husband approved.

September: Use a new word every day.  The deterioration of the English language makes me sad (I'm being semi-ironic here.  I could've used a much more descriptive or interesting word than "sad."  Get it?).  Dictionary.com will be my new best friend for the month of September.  With any luck, I’ll find a way to sound like a person who done went and got a college education.

October: Find a way to help someone every day.  I think it’s important to pay it forward, especially when we live in a society that is so self-absorbed and concerned with personal gain.  I also hate the cold, so I wanted to do this during a month when we’re not likely to get a blizzard, so I don’t get myself sucked into digging someone’s car out of a snow bank or something crappy like that.  

November:  Do more things with O.  Again, this will be a year-round goal for me, but I’ll be sharing our activities in November.  I’m guilty of seeing fun projects in Pinterest or coming up with neat ideas and thinking, “We should do that… someday.  Not today.  I don’t have time to clean up that big of a mess tonight.  Maybe next week…”  Don't get me wrong; spend time together reading and playing, we just don’t do things like finger-painting or playing with Play-Doh, or playing in the snow.  Time to fix that.

December: Keep a steady cleaning schedule.  I don’t think there are two dirtier words than “house cleaning.”  They’re relatively harmless alone, but when you put them together, they inspire dread and loathing.  I’m a little OCD and a lot germophobic so I don’t let my house get too icky, but I’ve always had trouble sticking to a regular schedule.  I usually wait until ten minutes before company is coming, or let it stack up until I can’t stand it any longer and spend my entire Saturday scrubbing and dusting.  I want to do less of that this year, so I’m going to spend the first eleven months of the year getting my butt in line, and then I’ll report back to you in December.

*BONUS RESOLUTION*  Quit using ellipses (…) so freaking much.  Seriously…  It’s tired, overused, and usually used incorrectly… just look at Facebook.  Ok… getting it all out of my system… almost there… alright.  We’re done here.  For the year of 2013, I’m limited to ONE ellipsis per blog post and it must be used correctly.  

*BONUS BONUS RESOLUTION*  Stop using so damn many exclamation points!  Who the heck do I think I am?  I’m not a cheerleader anymore, it’s time to stop putting so much enthusiasm into every freaking sentence when it’s unnecessary!!

There you have it… my 2013 broken down into not-so-neatly-organized months.  I hope I can stick to all of them!  Do you have any resolutions?  I want to hear them!

Get outta here, 2012.

Happy new year, everyone!  2012 was a whirlwind year for me with many new beginnings and I can’t help but feel like 2013 comes to me with lots of loose ends.  I started quite a few new things (I’m really good at that), but still have much to finish (not so good at that… I get it from my Dad.  More on that later).

Last January, I chose one theme word for my year: leadership.  I’ve never considered myself to be a leader, but I accepted the fact that it was time for me to grow up and put on my big girl pants.  Whether I wanted to be a leader in the workplace or not, I was always going to be a leader to someone… O, particularly. 

I also made an effort to step outside of my comfort zone as often as I could in 2012.  This brought me plenty of awkward situations and strange conversations, but growth, ultimately.  Of course, I started this blog… and here I am, baring my scars and my soul to all of you.  Yikes.  Family and friends who have known me my whole life are reading things here that they never knew.   I also took a chance and left my comfort zone in the career world.  I’ll start a new job in the middle of this month.  The truth is, I’m terrified… but I’m excited too.  If this year has taught me anything, it’s that if something terrifies me, I have to do it.  This new opportunity will be a little more family-friendly than my current job, and it will really play to my strengths.

I’ve been thinking about my resolutions and my theme for 2013.  It’s hard to decide what you want to commit yourself to for twelve months, right?  I’ve kicked around some very worthy ideas and words; love, happiness, charity, hope... Because it's so hard for me to commit, I decided on the word “commitment.”  Remember in the first paragraph when I mentioned I’m not the best at finishing things?  It’s time to change that.

My commitment issues know no boundaries.  I used to tell myself I was just indecisive or too much of a "free spirit" to be chained down, but I think the truth is that it's become more than that.  I have trouble seeing projects through to the end, I can't stick with one style (for my clothes, my writing, my hair), I have 23 different Pandora stations, and the thought of choosing just one cohesive decor approach for my home is enough to make me panic.  Hell, even my handwriting changes from month to month.  I get bored with the way I write my 'a' or my 'w' so I switch it up.

Don't even ask me the question about being stuck on an island and only being able to bring three things with me.  I'll start by giving you three answers, change my mind five times, and then I'll probably start twitching and mumble something obscure about a giraffe and leave while I've got you distracted.  And you'll be ok with that... because you were just asking me out of curiosity or to start a conversation, it's not like you were going to hold me to it and drop me off on an island with only those three things.  And then you'll think about what a waste of time that was, and you'll swear to never ask me something like that again.  Jeez.

2013 is the year I finish my projects.  It's the year I finally commit to painting the walls in my living room.  It's the year I stick with a fitness plan.  It's the year I figure out what three things I bring on my hypothetical island get away.

I've got some resolutions to go along with my commitment theme, but because this post is already getting a little lengthy and because our attention spans are all so short (ok, because I know my attention span is so short… If you’re still reading this and you haven’t just skimmed through to see if I have any cool pictures, props to you), I will post my resolutions in my next blog post.  

I hope this is your year.  Do you make resolutions?  Have you given any thought to it this year?  I want to hear from you!  Let me know what you’re focusing on to make 2013 great.

Sharing the love, 12/31/2012

Well, I’ve missed several days of these.  Shoot.  Who the heck is in charge here?!  I am… and I’ve been too busy enjoying my family, wearing my fat pants, and watching tv to write.  Bad excuses, yes.  Good thing we’re getting ready to start a new year, so I can nip this laziness in the ass before it gets too serious.

I would be terribly remiss, though, if I didn’t include a good friend of mine today.  I really hope I’ve told her in person how special she is to me, but you can never be too sure.  This is a woman who is a newer friend of mine but has made her way into my life in a BIG way.  She’s been my co-worker for the last two and a half years, but she’s become so much more than that to me.

Q, you are absolutely one of the most genuine people I know.  To know you is to love you, and that’s the truth… it’s impossible to just be your acquaintance.  You forge relationships like no one I’ve ever met.

I’ve also never met anyone with the capacity to love and care like you.  You don’t just care for your friends and your family, you care for everyone, and that’s what makes you so good at your job.  The love you’ve shown for me and my family is astounding.  Actually, you recently made a sacrifice for me (although I know you don’t see it that way), and it could be a real game-changer for my entire family.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully convey my gratitude to you, but I do need you to know that any success I find in my new venture will be because of your selflessness.  

Your constant support and friendship are two things I’ve come to rely on.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do when I don’t see you every day!  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing your life with me.  You are truly one of the most beautiful people I know, and I hope 2013 is YOUR year!